What's your TRUE Canadian Name?

I decided to create this little chart to help you figure out your Canadian name. Combine your birth month and the date you were born to get your true Canuck colours.
Share with friends and comment below so we can all enjoy the cheese!
P.s. I'm a Moonshine Goose!

sad is bad but plaid is badass

This past week I got pelted in the face during our rec-league dodgeball game. Thankfully, I had already been hit out by another ball so I had the luxury of sauntering off to the sidelines until I could see out of my right eyeball. This is not the first time it's happened, and anyone who's played the sport knows that it's what you sign up for. I also managed to slip on ice while walking the dog warranting a pretty blue bruise I wear like a ribbon on my knee. And that cut you see on my lip is not herpes, it's from biting it during a violent dream. Seriously, in my sleep.

Lately it also seems I've been emotionally drained. Just when I think I've finally gained control of my mood, some small 'crisis' happens and I have a meltdown as if they just canceled all current and future seasons of The Bachelor. yikes. And no, gentlemen, I'm not PMSing.

Mavis is angry

I'm a klutz on any normal day but I honestly feel like my inside is matching my outside. Battered and bruised. C'mon though, I know I'm not alone.

Now, living in Ottawa during the winter is going to come with it's own set of obstacles, frozen fingers and toes, cars that don't start and a Facebook newsfeed reminding you how cold it is and to also shut up about how cold it is. These things are shitty. Shitty, but bearable. What's a little harder to navigate is something called the 'winter blues', medically known as S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Basically, in an acorn shell, you get damn depressed. That's it, I'm self-diagnosing this.

So how does one overcome such sadness?

I google'd this and wasn't surprised by the 'home remedies' suggested to cure S.A.D. Eat better, exercise, take a vacation blah blah bloppity blah. ah boom blop bah boom ah blop boom bah!

Sorry, got carried away there. But honestly, how boring. Let's go drink Earl Grey tea and sit in the parlor cracking algebra jokes.

Why can't there be any fun cures? You never read 'roll down a hill with your friends then have a cheese curd eating contest (RIP St. Alberts) in the treatment section of WebMD.  Or rotisserie a pie over an open fire then share stories with the hobos who let you borrow their flaming trash can to begin with. I'm pretty sure that would cure my winter blues.

Point being, I think those boring 'cures' (or routines) for some, are what might have landed us in this gosh diggly mess in the first place. It may take some time for my cuts to heal but I'm already feeling better thinking about which one of my friends would win the cheese eating contest, or which story I would tell to try and shock a hobo.

And since I'm already life's personal punching bag this week:
Slap me with some crazy and creative ideas of what you would do to get out of your winter tire rut. And it better not involve tea.

A Very Plaid Outlook

They always say the best ideas come to you in the shower. Man, have I had some AWESOME ideas in the shower. So awesome, in fact, that I've shampoo'd my hair twice because I've been too busy daydreaming about becoming drop dead wealthy, and sexy, from these brilliant bursts. I know you know what I'm talking about. Now, do you think I could remember any of these ingenious thoughts? Hah.

What I do remember though, is how these ideas made me feel. For whatever reason, the combination of hot water hitting my skin after a long day at the office awakes the right side of my brain, equivalent of washing down a beavertail with a nice hot chocolate. Delicious brain stimulating bliss. But how can I get this feeling outside of my steamy bathroom? I began to realize that one of my reoccurring fantasies was to have a blog. The very idea of being able to write, share, and connect with other strange ducks is the very creative outlet I have been longing for. This blog can be my very own Kilaloe Sunrise on demand. A catalog of mental jewels. And don't every girl love a diamond!

I'm still going to end up shaving my right leg more often than my left and I always seem to go through my shampoo twice as fast as my conditioner but now I'll feel like I'm not constantly letting the ideas go down the drain. Having a blog will be a reminder to constantly think a little outside the box, get weird, daydream up impossible scenarios and ignore the people who are staring, waiting for me to blink. If I can encourage someone to have a strange thought after reading my blog, then I've succeeded.

I've spent some time trying to figure out what my 'angle' will be. What will I write about? What makes me unique? What will get readers coming back for more? I'm not very artistic so you probably won't see cool pictures. (see picture below). I can't sing, dance, or make any sort of music besides blowing on a blade of grass. I fuck up most crafts I attempt and sometimes the garbage can tastes more of the dinners I make than my boyfriend does. But the one thing that I am, and can be really good at, is Canadian. I've gotta embrace it as there is no way I would be able to deny it, I'm such a goddamn Canuck. My parents are avid curlers, I own several plaid shirts, and after a pint or two of Labatt 50, the way I pronounce 'Food Basics' (think: Fude Bay-sics) even the U.S. border patrol would let me cross without a passport. I am that Canadian.

So stay tuned for ridiculous ideas, discussions about local happenings, and good ol' Canadian quirks that I hope most of you will be able to relate to. I welcome comments, suggestions, and open discussions.

Stay cozy,

Alyssa

                                                            (Based on a true story)